Author Archives: Rex Banner

You Thought I Was Dead

You thought I was dead, didn’t you? Admit it. You said, “Bruce Jenner, you died.” Wait, what’s my character’s name again? It’s not Bruce Jenner? Rex Banner? Well, fuck it. I want to be Bruce Jenner, now. You are aware … Continue reading

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Banner is Back!

Dear all: Guess who’s back… Back again… Banner’s Back… Make some friends… Keep the old ones. Thesis is over… That means I can get back to one-a-days. I can say f#@k without having to hate my life. I no longer … Continue reading

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Game Seven — Smee Edition

Has anyone ever noticed that in the movie Hook, when they are playing the baseball game on the ship, both teams are named the Pirates. Smee is on the mound, and has the greatest delivery of all time… HE’S STEALING … Continue reading

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Game Six – Five Dollar Footlong Edition

A box cutter. A package of Betty Boop stamps. A baseball card of Frank Viola. A Five-Dollar Footlong card with four footlongs stamps clipped. What do they all have in common? They all woke up in my pocket last weekend … Continue reading

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Brewers Get First Win

In case you didn’t notice, I haven’t been around much over the past few days. I was in New York over the weekend for my birthday and let’s just say, my liver is in great need of a vacation. So, … Continue reading

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Game One: Hangover Edition

Now that the blood has settled and morale is high-enough to get past this hangover, sit at my desk, and start reading this information left to right and making sure to take breaks at the little dots… Bangarang Brewer: MVP … Continue reading

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Brewers Bangarang – Inning One

Game 1 – Fat Man Does Weather Greatest First Inning of All Time… Rankings? We don’t need no stinking rankings no more, Kemosabe. I’m sitting in my office right now, with the MLB TV on, trying my best not to … Continue reading

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NL Central Preview – 4th – The Houston Astros

The Houston Astros Predicted Finish 75-87 Crappy Film about Baseball You’ll be Forced to Watch during a Rain Delay at Minute Maid Park: For the Love of the Game The Houston Astros are my least favorite team in baseball, and … Continue reading

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NL Central Preview – 5th – The Chicago Cubs

The Chicago Cubs Predicted Finish: 74-88, Fifth Shitty Baseball Movie You’ll Be Forced to Watch during a Rain Delay at Wrigley Field (if they had a video scoreboard): Rookie of the Year I find it absolutely hilarious when a baseball … Continue reading

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NL Central Preview – 6th – The Pittsburgh Pirates

The Pittsburgh Pirates Predicted NL Central Finish: 62-100, Dead Last Shitty baseball movie you’ll be forced to watch during a rain delay at PNC Park: A League of Their Own Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a city that looks like it already … Continue reading

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