Standard 5 x 5 Rotisserie League

11 teams (You read that right. We attribute the inability to man a 12 team league to marriage and babies)

Each team is allowed 1 keeper drafted in any round after the 3rd. Each year they are kept, they move up a round.

Winner gets the Championship ‘Mug of Truff” and enough money to get moderately drunk again.

Round One – It’s 12:30, I’m still drunk hungover and most of the 1st round picks were determined before we ever showed up to the bar. Pretty straight-forward here you would think, but the lure of the ‘homer’ pick proved to be too strong for team Small Ball when they took Roy Halladay a little early and Cliff Lee about 3 rounds too early. Everyone was leery of the consensus 1st round second basemen, Robinson Cano and Chase Utley, so they slipped a little bit. Most surprising was the jump in Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez. Yes, this is a favorable ballpark for two of the best in the game not to mention one of the strongest line-ups ever assembled, however, these guys both went early in comparison to most fantasy rankings you will find. But what do I know? I’m wearing a headband that says “Booya”.

Best Pick - Tie between Ryan Braun and Adrian Gonzalez.
Worst Pick - Roy Halladay

Round Two - Previously mentioned, Cliff Lee 12th overall is pretty much a joke. The integrity of this league is already down the toilet so we’re ordering shots. After much lamenting, David Wright was then taken after some back-door deals were fell short. In the end, Ryan Howard at 18th overall was pretty much a steal. Joe Mauer, Jose Bautista, and Chase Utley all seem to be polarizing picks.

Best Pick - Ryan Howard. So what if he’s on my team?
Worst Pick -Cliff Lee

Round Three - Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the F–k? Brian Wilson? Talk about paying for saves! I have this guy ranked 5th at his position, 89th overall and he’s the first closer on the board? Well, you already know this is the worst pick of the round. Could it get any better? Well…sorta. Fielder, Kemp and Upton were all steals here, whereas, McCann, Dunn, and Beltre were a little bit of a reach.

Best Pick - Prince Fielder. Yes I’m biased.
Worst Pick -Brian Wilson…Hands down!

Round Four - Disappointment has already set in. It’s taken far too long to get this far along in the draft and I took Josh Johnson in a panic move. Yes, he’s a sick pitcher but I probably should have waited another round. The best decision I’ve made so far is eating these chicken quesadillas. Things would be looking up, if team By Cracky hadn’t just played $10 worth of Katie Perry and Taylor Swift in the jukebox. He’s rocking the best mustache I’ve ever seen so I’ll let it slide.

Best Pick -Nelson Cruz. Good value here if he’s healthy.
Worst Pick -“California Girls” by Katie Perry

Round Five -It’s a dead heat between teams Does This Rag Smell Like Ethier and Small Ball to see who can assemble the worst fantasy baseball team of all time. I mean, really? DTRSLE is bailed out by drafting Pujols 1st overall, SB doesn’t really have any redeeming qualities at this point. I mean, Beltre would have to exceed last years 102 RBI’s just to make this lineup palatable, which is highly unlikely.

Best Pick -Clayton Kershaw. Solid pitcher, only 23.
Worst Pick -Injury Risks Justin Morneau and Jimmy Rollins are pretty much a tie.

Round Six -Amidst the rock stylings of Justin Bieber and Arcade Fire (thanks Jay), things begin to unravel. The Jim Beam and Jameson shots are starting to get passed around. Enthusiasm is sky-rocketing while morale is plummeting, which means the draft itself is beginning to suffer at the hand our own good time. Ellsbury, Ethier and Hamels are all solid picks here. Small Ball has drafted nearly the entire Phillies rotation. While this is a great move in real baseball, it’s not so much in fantasy baseball. “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken!”

Best Pick -Andre Ethier. He went way too late. I had Kemp and didn’t want to double up Dodgers in the outfield. Bad move.
Worst Pick -Aramis Ramirez. Cubs suck. Enough said.

Round Seven -As half the league is making their picks remotely, it was just a matter of time before we ran into severe technical difficulties. For example, The Oral Hershiser could not be reached for nearly 20 minutes in order to make a pick because he was playing drinking games in Virginia. Once reached, he took Zach Greinke much to the displeasure of OMSF contributor, Frank Grimes. It’s safe to say I am drunk again due to the ever-dangerous “Shampoo Effect.” Peeling these stickers off and putting them on the board and diffusing a nuclear bomb seem to be equal in difficulty at the moment. Good thing I got Rickie Weeks at second. I’d be starting Gordon Beckham if I hadn’t.

Best Pick -Greinke or Gallardo. Take your pick. Yes, I know…I’m biased.
Worst Pick -Chris Carpenter because he’s injured.

More to come…